Have you ever had one of those nights where all of your feelings and emotions could no longer be bottled up inside and the only thing left for you to do was cry and release them. Last night was one of those nights for me. After Lauren and I put our boys to sleep, we spent a little down time together, something we don't get to do very often with two crazy boys. About 9:45 ish i receive a phone call from my sister and she calls to let me know that she's praying for us and Riley, and as I'm talking to her i hear her voice crack with sincerity as she expressed her love for us. My sister is such a Godly woman and words from her are always comforting to me. As she was talking to me i was reminded of my relationship with my Dad and how her words to me last night sounded like something he would say to me if he were still around. That kind of set it all off for me last night.
A few weeks ago if you were to ask me about Riley and his surgery process i would've told you that Lauren and i are really looking forward to recovery. A good friend of mine JD always asks me "How are you feeling about Riley and his surgery" and my response every time would be the generic "We just want to start the road to recovery."
Last night as i lay in bed weeping, i could no longer hide the fact that I'M SCARED and i really wished that when we woke up the day of the surgery that GOD would heal him and that we wouldn't have to put him through soo much pain. I HATE to see people hurt and when he or she is your own son or daughter it hurts even more. I cried my self to sleep, something that i haven't done in a while.
I'd be lying to you if i said that i woke up feeling better about all of it. I was however greeted this morning by a huge smile from Riley and a big hug from Cameron.
I realized this morning the road to recovery has begun.
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3 comments:
You are loved. Rest in the shadow of His wings.
Last summer Haley broke her arm and we spent the day in the hospital. It was so minor compared to this but I remember wishing that I could take it all away for her and I couldn't imagine how we would handle it if it was something bigger. But I guess that is the point. We aren't supposed to handle it. We are supposed to let Him handle it. He has to remind me a lot that I need Him. You are amazing!! Riley is amazing!! And most of all God is amazing!!
and Lauren is amazing...right Kara?
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