See you later.......

Riley my other favorite son has just turned 10 weeks old. He doesn't quite know his ABC's yet but i'm sure when he's ready his older brother will be able to walk him through it. He is however starting to coo and smile alot, only after a full tummy though, like father like son. I'm so blessed that he's ours and that GOD would entrust jacked up people like us with such a precious gift. I think he and I already have a special bond going, like when he's tired he likes his daddy to rock him to sleep in mommy's chair. I guess he likes the sound of my heart beating or just the comfort and warmth of being nestled in my arms, whatever it is, it's pretty special to me. Every once in a while i wonder if i was like that with my dad. If he and i had a special bond together when i was a baby, I wonder if he sang songs to me to put me to sleep, or if he made those funny little faces and those weird sounds with his mouth that i make to Riley now. Every now and then i ask my mom questions about my dad and about the years when we were babies. She would always tell me that i was his favorite out of the 8 of us kids. As cool as that may be I find myself struggling with that statement sometimes. Because if that were true, he would of stuck around to Meet and embrace my beautiful wife. He would been there when both of my precious sons were born. He would've been here to guide me as the father figure that i still need and so earnestly long for. AUGH!!.........SOO frustrating!!....... But then there's a gentle knock at the door of my heart. Something comes over me and serves as a reminder after i experience these feelings. It's the voice of A GOD who loves me more than anything. He gently whispers to me "I'm here for you" He reminds me "I was there when you married your lovely wife", "i was there when your sons were born" and "i've taken over the role of being that father figure that you need". Oh yeah Steve and by the way.... Don't forget that your Father was there too. Had he not been there you wouldn't have known me. Though you may not remember your days as a baby, be reminded that He was there when "you experienced your first broken heart", "He was there at your football games cheering you on winning or losing", and most importantly "He was there when you gave your heart to me and accepted me as your Lord and Savior"... He was there!...and so was I. I guess GOD has me feel this way sometimes to remind me of powerful and sovereign he really is. It just sucks somtimes because I MISS HIM soooo much. There is not a day that goes by that i don't think of him and how life would be so much easier with him around. However i know that he's in a better place now and that it's not good-bye but i'll see you later.


Oh yeah... Dad if you're listening or checking out this blog.... Thank you for showing me what a life fully surrendered to GOD looks like. I Love and miss you!

In memory of Suitulaga L. Faiai (1932-1997)